What’s the book about?

The book tells the story of Auggie, a 10-year-old kid with facial deformities, who has just started his middle school life in a completely new educational environment. Eager to fit in and wishing to be treated like any other kid, he is discriminated against, gossiped about, and faced with family crises. Despite the ups and downs he encounters, Auggie eventually manages to overcome the difficulties in his new school. Confronting the lack of acceptance from others, he forges even stronger bonds with his friends and family.

How does respect play a role in Auggie’s family?

Respect plays a crucial role in Auggie’s family dynamics, laying the foundation for healthy interactions. Although Auggie has special needs, his parents always respect his decisions and treat him as they would any other kid, avoiding excessive protection. When Auggie is not in the mood to talk, they refrain from forcing him into discussion and respect his silence. This mutual respect between family members fosters open communication and creates a supportive environment where members’ opinions and emotions are validated and acknowledged.

Understanding that it has never been an easy task for Auggie to adapt to a new environment, his parents let Auggie make his own decisions. His mom says, “We can’t keep protecting him. We can’t just pretend he’s going to wake up tomorrow and this isn’t going to be his reality, because it is, and we have to help him learn to deal with it.” Although she is eager to put Auggie in a traditional school, she still says to him, “You know if you don’t want to do this, you don’t have to.” Indeed, she knows she has to let Auggie assimilate into society, yet she values Auggie’s feelings over her ideas. As Auggie is initially reluctant to go to middle school, she respects his views and offers for him to meet the principal Mr Tushman first. This approach allows Auggie to accept his new school life step by step. If Auggie's mother had insisted on her perspective,he would have become more reluctant, straining the parent-son relationship.

How is Wonder a parenting exemplar?

During puberty, teens begin to form a sense of self and identity, and parents must not infringe upon that sense of identity. One common parenting pitfall is to dismiss teenagers’ views as immature, childish or merely a byproduct of their so-called rebellious nature. By ignoring children’s views, parents may undermine the very building blocks that young people use to define themselves. Parents should respect their children’s views, even though they may disagree with them. The trick here is to avoid confrontation, but rather to engage in discussion using a more diplomatic and understanding tone.

To maintain a balance in family dynamics, parents should understand the principles and worldviews of their children, and by showing that understanding, they will create an environment in which their children will be willing to understand theirs. Political stances, social issues, house rules—no matter what the topic, parents should avoid confrontational, or even worse, a holier-than-thou attitude. By treating children and their views with respect, Auggie’s parents demonstrate how to raise a respectful and respectable kid.

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