It’s hard to say sorry. Even research shows that it is statistically difficult for people to apologise. Why is it so hard for us to utter the word “sorry”? As the writers of the book put it, the “cognitive dissonance of ‘I know I'm a good person, but I've done a bad thing’" bars you from apologising. So let the SorryWatchers guide you through the captivating realm of apologies, and explain what makes a good apology.

Key Takeaways

Own Up To What You Did

Oh no! You’ve done something wrong that caused other people to suffer! What you need to do now is to apologise. This book tells us the essential element of an apology is to take responsibility for what you did. Tell the person you’ve hurt them by your actions, why the thing you did may have harmed them, and own up to any repercussions caused due to what you’ve done.

It’s Not About You

We’ve seen a lot of apologies online. Most of them consist of the aggressor hastily putting up a video of them crying hysterically, where you can barely make out the “sorries” coming out of their sobbing voice. These are BAD apologies. This book shows us that an apology is not about you. It’s not about you or your feelings, it’s about the victim: the person you’ve hurt. An apology should never include anything related to your feelings or the motives behind your hurtful actions. Instead, focus on what the person you’ve hurt might be feeling. Show them that you understand the emotional damage that you’ve caused, that you acknowledge how they feel after being hurt.

No Excuses!

“I’m a good person! It was under some mysterious circumstances that I did the thing I shouldn’t have!” Most people may include some variation of these sentences in their apology, but it doesn’t erase the fact that they did something wrong. The book tells us to steer clear of "sorry if," "sorry but" and "sorry you." These won’t help you in apologising. Apologies are all about taking responsibility. If you’ve done something wrong, own up to it with simple and straightforward words. There’s no way around it.

Why This Book Is Good

This book is fairly easy to read: simple language, good advice, and tips nicely structured into six chapters. There are even checklists at the end of each chapter for you to check if your apology is good enough. This is an excellent book packed with wise advice and occasional jokes to cheer you up and give you a nice laugh. You don’t have to be an expert to understand this book, and even if you don’t find interpersonal relationships interesting, it’ll still be a fascinating read. I definitely recommend buying or borrowing this amazing book. You could learn a thing or two about apologies!

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